On Being Biracial

***

My sister and I attended a peaceful protest in Indianapolis, Saturday May 31st. Later that night after we left, the crowds rioted ’till dawn, smashing store fronts, setting fires, and vandalizing historical monuments. As a result three people were killed and six injured.

The next morning I winced while watching videos of rioters taunting police and denigrating my beloved city, all in the name of racial justice. Since then, my heart has been an anvil inside my chest and never in this way have I felt the black side of my biracial self awaken. 

The day after the protest I spoke with my sister and discovered she was hurting for a different reason. As the daughter of an African father and a Caucasian mother, my sister was wrestling with the notion that she might not really be black. I too have pondered this question, sifting through my experiences and wondering what makes a person really black.

The more people I talk to the more I realize that every multiracial person goes through a racial identity crisis sometime in life. We all find ways to cope, whether that means identifying more with one side of our race or simply learning to adjust our language and behavior based on our company. But the most helpful lesson I’ve learned over the last few years is that a person’s race is simply part of their identity, not all of it.

I recently finished Bryan Loritts’ book Insider Outsider. He says, “When being black matters more than being a Christian we have ventured into idolatry.” These words hit me hard. I definitely spend a lot of time thinking about being black. I suppose whether you’re a Christian or not, it’s important to remember that if you hold your color or culture above your relationship with God and others, you make it your master. With that you will forever be searching for fulfillment and purpose in a fraction of who you are. So, explore your racial identity and discover what it means to be in the majority or the minority group, but remember you are much more.

***

A few resources that helped me navigate my racial identity 

The Color of Water

Dreams From my Father 

Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria 

The Girl Who Fell From the Sky