Today I awoke with no desire to rise from my bed. I wanted to flip my pillow over so the cool side pressed against my face and to sleep for eternity to the humming sound of my window fan.
But alas I had to rise, even though there was nothing on the agenda today aside from applying for jobs.
For the past few days I’ve been working at a frozen custard place. It’s part-time and a lot of fun, but on the days I don’t work I must face my laptop screen and the job opening for which I am not qualified.
I finally did rise from my bed and was munching on gluten-free cereal when I remembered a textbook I needed to mail to a recent buyer. If I could sell my four years worth of textbooks I’d probably make more than what I get selling ice cream. But unfortunately, no textbook website wants to buy a pile of writer’s handbooks.
Climbing into my hot car I realized I’d have to face yet another small battle: wrestling my stick shift as usual. Yet, today it was only for a short time. It’s learned to behave.
I stopped at the bank on the way to Starbucks and felt like an undercover adult. Depositing my own checks. Do I look old enough to do this?
The police officer eyed me from the moment I entered to the moment I rushed out.
“I know I’m black but I’m not going to pull a gun on you!” I wanted to say.
Minutes later I sat at a Starbucks table, my computer pulling juice from the wall, and my parched lips sucking in the sweet slush of a Carmel Frap.
Don’t worry I’m not wasting my hard earned money on Starbucks. But then again my gift card is almost out. What am I going to do? Soon I’ll have to sneak in, order an ice water and hide in the corner without paying for anything.
I go to Starbucks not always for the coffee. Sometimes I just need to get out of the house and find a productive, clean, good-smelling environment to fill out more job applications.
I’d say my Starbucks trip was a success. Three emails popped into my inbox affirming my application acceptances and a forth notifying me of a recent job posting for a Reporter, a job posting I was again not qualified to apply for. So I did anyways.
It’s disheartening to think of where I am and where I want to be. Where I want to be seems years and years away.
Currently–I’m an unemployed, recent college graduate with minimal work experience, a car that runs like it may die any minute, living with my parents, and waiting to pay off my college dept. #losing
Where I want to be–Reporting the news through radio, film, photography and written word. Traveling the coast of East Africa, learning to speak Swahili and French, giving a voice to the voiceless, and holding the powerful accountable for what they’re doing.
But before I can even report news from my hometown I must wake up everyday and choose to get out of bed, even if I don’t know what that day will bring.
Because eventually, maybe that day could place me where I want to be.