Death, A Daily Reality


Weddings, babies, and graduation ceremonies are what I thought would fill the duration of my post-college years. But, instead I find myself attending the funeral of one of my best friends and then hearing about the sudden death of several other young people in my community. Life is weird.

For some I suppose this is a daily reality. Those in war-torn countries, people in crime infested neighborhoods. Maybe I was just spared this type of grief in my growing up years. In former days, death was the stuff of news articles, statistics, and maybe a distant relative or an old church member. Now, death proceeds from the mouth of a friend still in shock, it arrives in a church announcement, a phone call in the night.

Yesterday at church, I stood on stage with the worship team. Looking out into the congregation I saw so many grieving faces. A church elder got up and shared about the 20-year-old murder victim who was closely connected to members of our church. My heart sank as I shuffled the pages on my music stand before we started the next song.

Death is horrible. Now that I’ve experienced it I don’t retract in fear like I once did. Instead of being afraid of death I’m just disheartened by it. What is there to fear when you’ve already lost a very close friend? I feel united with my friends who are grieving. I look into their dimmed eyes and say, “I too lost a best friend.”

Not fearful however I can’t help but ask myself, who is next? What person in my life will be the next to go? Where will I be when I hear the earth-shattering news that yet another person has left this earth? Maybe it will be me. I rise in the morning and wonder if today is my last, and I go to bed at night thinking I may awake in a place called eternity. At a grief seminar last week I realized it’s good to come to terms with death, to ponder your own death. Just because you want to die doesn’t mean you’re suicidal.

I know this post is a little scattered but to make sense of death is very difficult. Once the griever, now I feel called to be the comforter. How do you comfort a grieving friend? What do you say to a father who has just lost his son, or a sister who has lost her only brother?

I am comforted by one thing only. The Lord is here. The Lord is with you. Most of the time there are no words or deeds to mend a grieving heart. But the simple act of being with someone can make the grieving process a great deal better.



  1. Helen Callow · November 30

    Thank you Julia for what you call your scattered thoughts. I was asked by someone, how could she help her friend who has been given a terminal cancer diagnoses. I didn’t know either but as I talked with the woman I realised neither of them knew Jesus. As I talked of the Gospel and knowing Him with us, I prayed my feeble words would be taken by the Holy Spirit to bring eternal life. I prayed with the woman.
    On another thread, Garry and Susan, Garry being our pastor, are in a very sad and difficult situation. Their eldest son, Matt has disappeared. The police are involved, but there is no trace of Matt. Grief comes in many forms and Jesus came in to our grief stricken world and says ‘Trust Me” and proceeded to reveal Himself as God. So when He says “I know and when you trust me, you will have eternal life, forgiveness and my presence” we can release ourselves to Him.
    Grief changes us and as He walks with us, so we walk with others.

    Liked by 1 person

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